Earlier this month, Austinist pointed me to the UT Campus Safety reports and they’ve been providing endless amusement ever since. I couldn’t help but post a few highlights from last night.
You’ve got to love the sarcastic tone of the reports and kudos to the second subject who appears to have thoroughly marked his territory at the intersection of Guadalupe and 26th. I can’t help but wonder what these people have planned for the rest of the weekend. It was only Thursday night for cryin’ out loud. I guess they’re just trying to live up to the #1 Party School ranking released at the end of August. Well done, kids.
10-27-06, at 12:33 AM. – 2000 BLOCK RIO GRANDE
Public Intoxication: A UT student was observed staggering and stumbling as she attempted to walk along a flat sidewalk. The officer observed that the subject was missing a shoe. During the investigation, the officer detected a very strong odor of alcohol on the subject’s breath and noted her confused state of mind. The subject informed the officer that she had drunk too much at a party and that the boys were kissing her. She then informed the officer that she got upset when her boyfriend left the party. The officer allowed the subject the opportunity to use a life line and contact a friend, the friend hung up on her. The subject was taken into custody for Public Intoxication and transported to Central Booking.
10-27-06, at 2:07 AM. – 400 BLOCK WEST 26th STREET
Public Intoxication: A UT student was observed falling into a metal fence while providing alcohol-enriched compost for a local area home owner. After filling the allotment, the subject continued to vomit on himself. During the investigation the officer observed that the subject had attempted, unsuccessfully, to evacuate other bodily fluids. During the investigation, the officer detected a very strong odor of alcohol on the subject’s breath and observed that his eyes were bloodshot and watery. While talking to the subject, the subject lost his balance and fell, causing the officer to catch him before he hit the ground. The subject was taken into custody for Public Intoxication and transported to Central Booking.
10-27-06, at 3:28 AM – 100 BLOCK WEST 21st STREET
Consumption of Alcohol by a Minor (2 Counts): A UT student was observed supporting another UT student as both were attempting to negotiate the hidden contours of a straight sidewalk. During the investigation, the officer detected a very strong odor of alcohol on the breaths of both subjects. The officer discovered that both subjects were under the legal age of 21. Both subjects were issued a field release citation for Consumption of Alcohol by a Minor.
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My favorite so far is the one about the two guys that tried to climb to the top of the Denius practice field bubble last month. According to the report, they made it to the top of the brick wall where the inflatable roof starts, only to become “disappointed” when they discovered that the roof was not “squishy”.