I’ve written in the past about the Parking Walrus. I hadn’t seen him in a while and thought that perhaps the daycare director had struck some kind of deal where he gets all of the smelt that he wants and we get to use his beloved parking spaces for 5 minutes while we drop off our kids.
This morning, the daycare lot was full and I parked in one of the Walrus’s spaces. I noticed him on the other side of the lot , checking the self-serve pay box. Thinking nothing of it, I took Henry into daycare. We said our goodbyes and I headed back out to the parking lot.
Much to my delight, the Walrus was standing in front of my car, writing me one of his Walrus Tickets. As I walked up to the car, he gave me the evil eye. I said that I thought everything had been worked out and that it was ok to park there briefly. He asked where I got that idea and informed me that it was not ok. He then told me that it would be ok to sit and wait for a space to open in the daycare lot (pointing to another parent next to me who was doing just that), but as soon as I physically left my car in his lot, he said, “It’s mine.” I pointed out that I probably would be spending more time in his lot waiting for a space to open than if I simply parked and ran my kid in. He dismissed this bit of logic and proceeded to tell me that the parking lot was a business and that they were in business to make money. He then went into a rant about how there were empty metered spaces on the street that were available and that I should use those. I once again pointed out that there were plenty of empty spaces and that I wasn’t preventing him from making money. He then tried to compare his lot to a movie theater. If I was the only one in the theater, I’d still have to pay to see the movie. If anyone out there can show me how that comparison makes any sense, be sure to email me and explain it. I told him his analogy made no sense and that I had to get to work. I got in the car and once again left him with a half-written Walrus Ticket. Poor impotent Parking Walrus. He tries to defend his territory with all of the the bluster he can muster, but there’s just nothing to back it up. I’m in and out of there so fast, that there’s no way in hell that he could ever hope to get a tow truck there before I return to the car. There’s really nothing he can do to deter me. I almost feel sorry for him…almost.